When Pipeweed Goes Bad
by FallenAngelZoey
Summary: It's a PWP fanfic challenge/request from my friend Talisha. This is for you gal!! Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pip somehow end up in present day time and meet a girl who takes them to a Karaoke bar. Need I saw more??


When Pipeweed Goes Bad By FallenAngelZoey  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the J.R.R. Tolkien's LOTR stuff, though I wish I did. Tolkien Enterprises are lucky sons of guns. I also don't own any of the songs I'm using in this fic they belong to Boy George, They Might Be Giants, The Proclaimers, and Jessica Riddle.  
  
AN: Ok this is a PWP (Plot what Plot) fic from a challenge/request from my friend Talisha. This is for you gal!! Now sit back, and enjoy the craziness that is my mind.  
  
"Uarh....What happened??"  
  
"Don't know."  
  
"Who am I laying on??"  
  
"That would be me."  
  
"Oh, sorry Merry."  
  
"Pippin this is all your fault!"  
  
There in a dark alley, in a mound, lay Frodo, Pippin, Sam, and Merry in a heap on the ground. Little known to them was another laying in the pile.  
  
"Why is this my fault?" Pip quirked to Sam.  
  
"Because...." Sam started but was interrupted by Frodo.  
  
"Now Sam, lets not go around blaming people, even thought it is his fault," He gave Pippin a look. "The thing we have to do now is figure out where we....." Frodo stopped as his hand rubbed against something strange when he shifted to get a better look of the surroundings.  
  
"Did anyone get the number of that bus??" Came a female voice as a head popped up, only to fall back down again when she was done asking her question.  
  
All the hobbits froze. "Everyone get up!" Frodo commanded and all at once they started scrambling out of the pile.  
  
"Ow, hey watch your foot Merry!"  
  
"That's Pippin's, not mine."  
  
"Sam, that's my bum."  
  
"Oh sorry Mr. Frodo."  
  
Finally after some time, and a lot of bickering, they managed to stand up and form a circle around the spot they had heard the voice, and once occupied. Before them sprawled out on the ground, laying facing up, was a girl in jeans, a cut off t-shirt exposing her mid-drift, black boots, and a little purse. A hand was across her chest so they couldn't make out what her "Frodo Lives!" shirt said.  
  
Sam instantly turned around with a small blush facing the wall. "Hey now....Sh-She's not decent. You shouldn't be startin'," He stuttered out as Merry, Frodo and Pippin took a step closer, still staring.  
  
A few seconds later, the girl stirred and opened her emerald green eyes. Blinking a few times while rubbing her head she began to sit up mumbling out loud. "Oh geez. It gets to where a girl can't even take a short cut without being mauled by......HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL!!" She jumped to her feet when she saw three sets of familiar eyes and stared opened mouthed.  
  
"H-Hairy feet.....Barely four feet tall....." She turned around, shook her head, and began pacing back and fourth in front of them muttering and hitting her head. "Aww man. I really got to stop smokin' my friends weed. I'm starting to see hobbits everywhere...."  
  
"Weed?? I want some weed." Pip exclaimed eagerly.  
  
"Now's not the time Pip." Merry muttered while nudging Pippin in the arm.  
  
The girl stopped her pacing and stared at each of them, one by one. First Frodo, then Pippin, and finally Merry, whom she poked in the nose.  
  
"Oi! Are you out of your blinking mind??" Merry retorted while rubbing his nose.  
  
"Arahhhhhhhh!" The girl screamed as she jumped back. In turn, the three screamed right back and jumped back as well. "Frodo! Merry! And Pippin too! But, wait, where's Sam??"  
  
Hearing his name Sam called out "Yes??" but still kept his back to the girl; the blush now starting to fade.  
  
"Whatcha doing over there with your back to me??" The girl asked turning her head into the direction that Sam's voice was coming from.  
  
"Your...indecent Miss." Sam humbly replied. Frodo gave a small chuckle. 'Ah Sam. Always the gentelhobbit.' He thought as the girl started walking over to Sam.  
  
"Aww Sam, you're sooo cute." She said as she bent down and wrapped her arms around the hobbit in a hug, thereby causing him to whip around and *SMACK* his face landing right into her chest. With a soft "Sorry Miss," Sam wriggled out of the embrace and disappeared out of sight; his face now completely red.  
  
"Sam get's all the luck" Merry snickered.  
  
"Wait Sam....." She called then sighed. "Alwell, I hope he doesn't go to far. Now about you guys." She replied while turning back to the other three. "How did you get here??"  
  
"I can answer that one." Merry replied as the girl walked back towards the three.  
  
"Wait Merry. First things first. Who are you Miss and Where are we exactly??" Frodo spoke up not letting Merry finish.  
  
"Yeah and why do you have Frodo's name across your bosoms??" Pippin piped up.  
  
The girl giggled. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Cate. Cate Fox, and you would be in California in the year 2002."  
  
"Across her bosoms, where, I wanna see." Merry cut off Cate as he looked up and saw with a big grin.  
  
Cate proceeded to tell them all about California, her t-shirt, and about them all the while the three staring at her chest, Merry the most out of all three. When she was done, she listened to the story of how Pippin gave them some bad pipeweed while they were drinking ale they all passed out and ended up here somehow. All the while, Sam started creeping back to the group. Pippin then asked Cate to tell them about herself, so she did. She told them about her LOTR obsession and about being a slash fan.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Merry stopped her right there. "Ok, I can see Frodo and Sam, but Pip and Me. Come on. I'm no bloomin' fairy cake!" He protested. "And what about you?? Prancing around in your skimpy clothes. I mean, really."  
  
Before Cate could retort, Sam came behind her and threw his cape over the girl. "What the??" She muffled from underneath the cloak. "I...I thought you might be cold Ms. Cate." Came Sam bashfully.  
  
"Thanks Sam, but I'm fine."  
  
"What would your mother say??" Merry went on.  
  
"My mother bought me this outfit for my birthday." Came Cate as she poked her head out from the cloak. "And anyway it's the style today."  
  
"Lasses going around in trousers and barely a shirt, why I never." Sam commented as Cate gave him back his cloak.  
  
"Oh well, if that's the case then I think you look lovely." Merry smiled while Frodo just stood there trying to get everything straight.  
  
"No Merry. Whatever you want with me the answer is NO!!"  
  
"I'm hungry." Pippin stated out of the blue bringing all the conversations to a stop and all eyes on him.  
  
"Pip, always thinking with his stomach." Merry chuckled.  
  
"Well it is about noon, and I'm kinda hungry too. So, how bout I take you four out to lunch hmm??" Cate smiled.  
  
They all agreed and started walking out of the alley. "Wait a minute you guys." Cate piped up causing all the hobbits to stop in their tracks. "Were going to have to go shopping first. You can't walk around like that. Come on, I know a great store just around the corner where we can get you all fixed up."  
  
With that she took Pippin's hand and led the four out of the alley and around the corner to a shoe store. They got a lot of stares as the walked. Once in the store Cate talked with the manager and gave him a story so that she could but the four shoes. The four watched from the window wondering what she was saying. At last they all scrambled in when Cate gave a smile and beckoned to them.  
  
"What did you say to that man to let us come in??" Frodo inquired while he was trying on a pair of boots.  
  
"I just told him that you were from a foreign exchange program and that your culture doesn't believe in wearing shoes." Cate replied holding a box of black, knee-high go-go boots for herself.  
  
"Oh." Frodo nodded trying to understand.  
  
Once all them had a pair of shoes and socks, except for Sam who chose a pair of sandals, they all went up and paid. Cate waited for them to put on their shoes and socks once they had exited the shop before taking them to a mall. Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin's eye were wide as they walked along taking in everything. They all asked questions, that Cate happily answered, as they walked along into the men's department.  
  
After an hour of looking and trying things on, the hobbits were ready. Frodo had on a pair of black casual dress pants, and a nice fine knit cream pull over shirt, a black leather jacket, and to complete it all some nice black Rockport boots. Sam chose a pair of khaki belted safari pants, a blue Hawaiian shirt, and a pair a of navy blue sandals. Merry sported a pair of black fire jeans, with a red t-shirt that had "Problem Child" printed in black letters on the front, and a pair of skater shoes. Last but not least is Pippin who picked out a pair of stone colored Authentic Cargo Pants, a light olive green chest striped t-shirt, and a pair of gray skater shoes. Cate looked all of them over and clapped, before calling a sales lady to ring up everything while the hobbit were still wearing it. After Cate paid, she barrowed a pair of scissors and cut off all the tags, before dragging the newly dressed hobbits off to the Teen section. "What are we doing here?? Aren't we done yet??" Pippin asked looking around. "Yes you guys are all set, but now it's my turn. You guys don't get to have all the fun." Cate giggled as she handed them each a bag from their shoes. "Here you guys can put your old clothes and swords in these." They all nodded and started putting their old clothes and things in their own bags as they waited for Cate to come back from the changing room. After a couple of minutes, she emerged in a black leather mini-skirt, a backless maroon shirt, and her knee high go-go boots. "Well whatcha think guys??" She said as she turned slowly around in a circle. Silence....Apparently all of their eyes went wide as their mouths dropped open. Sam recovered faster than the others and began to cover Frodo's eyes and pulling Merry and Pippin to look away. Cate smiled and went to pay while the hobbits recovered. When she came back it was off to her favorite bar for lunch. All the hobbits were able to find pants short enough for them surprisingly. But why wouldn't they?? The store had a great and huge selection of Men's clothes. Every length of pants you could think of, so thankfully Cate didn't have to cut any of the pants legs so that they would fit. So off they went, bags in hands, out of the store and walked towards Cate's favorite bar, which just happens to be a Karaoke bar. Cate lead them in a walking tour and finally, they arrived at the bar. She opened the door and one by one the hobbits went in. They got a booth and sat down. Cate let them look at the menu and order what ever they wanted and once the waiter came she ordered four Foster's beers and a Strawberry Daiquiri on the rocks, while they ordered their food. While they were waiting, she explained about the age drinking rule and how the owner was a good friend to the family of this place so she and whoever came with her never got asked to show their ID. A little while later their order was delivered to them. There was some silence until the hobbits were about half way done with their food. "What's this??" Pippin asked looking at his huge can of beer. "It's beer. It's what we call ale. I thought you guys might like pints and this is the closest thing we have." "I see." Pippin smiled happily as he tried to open it but gave up after a few tries. "Now how do you open this thing??" "Like this." Cate replied as she showed them how to open the can. "You all got that right??" Merry, Sam and Frodo nodded as they tried. Success they have their ale. The four went about and poured their beer into their mugs that the waiter had given them, while Cate's drink and also fruit salad came. "Now what 'ave you got there Ms. Cate??" Sam asked in wonderment as the pink drink was placed in front of the girl. "It's called a Strawberry Daiquiri. It's a little stronger than ale. It's also very sweet. Would you guys like to try a sip??" She explained. Pippin heard the word 'sweet' and jumped all over it and accepted the sample. The other three just stuck to their ale which they found to be just as good as the Shire's. Pip loved it, and asked Cate if he could order one after he finished his pint. Giggling a yes, they went back to their food. A little while later something else caught their attention. "Cate, what's that person doing??" Frodo asked as a guy started walking to a small stage and taking up a microphone. "Oh yes, the Karaoke is open now." "Karaoke??" The four questioned in unison. "Yes. You go up there and press a button on that little screen there. It picks a song if you can't think of one to sing and displays the words as it plays music. Your job is to stand there, or dance if you like, and sing as it shows you the words and plays the music. Just watch." They all did. The man was quite good. He had the whole crowd going. After he was done, Cate clapped and cheered as she turned back to the four. "You guys want to give it a try??" There was a silence as they all looked at one another. "Frodo, you go. Come on, your the oldest, you go." Merry urged. "Come on Frodo, no one will care if you're bad. Everyone is drunk here anyway." Cate pleaded. "I do love your singing Mr. Frodo." Sam whispered into his ear. That clinched it for Frodo. "Alright I'll go, but if I do, then you guys have to." It was agreed so, Frodo scooted out of his seat, made his way up to the stage, took the microphone, and pressed the button. His heart pounded in his chest as he watched all the song titles go by. Finally after what seemed like slow torcher for the hobbit lad, it gave him: "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" By Boy George. The music started playing and as soon as it did, all the pressure and nervousness left Frodo. He started swaying to the beat then, the first lyric came up: Give me. Frodo had missed his que, but soon fell into step and sang: "...time to realize my crime  
  
Let me love and steal  
  
I have danced inside your eyes  
  
How can I be real  
  
Do you really want to hurt me  
  
Do you really want to make me cry  
  
Precious kisses words that burn me  
  
Lovers never ask you why" He kept on singing all the while getting cheers, sighs, and applause all through out the song. Cate forgot how good of a singer he is and started swooning, but caught herself and whistled and clapped along with everyone else. As the song went on Frodo started adding dance moves while he sang. As the last note ended, he took a bow as the applauds, cheers, whistles, and complements rang out. Of course, the table with Merry, Sam, Pippin, and Cate the cheers were the loudest. Right after Frodo came back, Sam took his place on the stage and pressed the button eagrly wanting to please his master with a song. The machine started going through songs and came to a stop on The Proclaimers "500 miles" The music started and Sam grinned. He had heard this song in the store so he didn't miss when it started. He lifted the microphone and sang: "When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be  
  
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you  
  
When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be  
  
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you  
  
If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be  
  
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you  
  
And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be  
  
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you  
  
But I would walk 500 miles  
  
And I would walk 500 more  
  
Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles  
  
To fall down at your door" Sam having a voice as beautiful and sexy as Frodo, got the same thing as he sang. Cate swooned again as she clapped and cheered. "Yeah GO SAM!!" Merry watched her with an eager eye. When Sam felt comfertible, he broke out his dance moves and the crowd went wild. Frodo was watching him happily from the table. Of course like all good things they must come to an end. As Sam finished his last note and move he was met with the same amount of applause as his master did. Once again his table was the loudest. Before Sam took one step from the stage Pippin was there pushing him off. This tween was so excited that he was bouncing up and down in his chair as Sam sang on. With a chuckle at the lad's excitement, Sam got off and walked back to his seat while Pip had his turn and pressed the button then the other button that was on the machine. The songs went round and round then gave Pip "The Beer Song" by They Might Be Giants. The music started playing but something else happened as well. Right before you were suppose to start singing it flashed '3 2 1 Sing!' Pip raised an eye brow but started singing none the less. He sang: "Oh... what is the malt and liquor? What gets you drunken quicker? What comes in bottles or in cans? (Beer) Can't get enough of it (Beer) How we really love it (Beer) Makes me think I'm a man (Beer)  
  
I could kiss and hug it (Beer) But I'd rather chug it (Beer) Got my belly up to here (Beer) I could not refuse a (Beer) I could really use a beer, beer, beer  
  
Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer" At this, Cate started laughing her ass off. It was too perfect for the ale hungry lad. Pippin did rather well though with the fast pace song. He mad a few mistakes, but after a while, he really got into it and broke out his moves. He was met with applauds, cheering, and laughing. "Yeah Go Pip GO!!!" Cate yelled once her giggles sub sighted. The others too were chuckling at the song, but cheered just as loud as Cate. The song was over very fast, but once the music stopped Pip struck a pose, thus making all the girls go wild including Cate. The tween bowed and had to be nudged by Merry to signal to get off. The lad scampered happily back to his seat and waited for his cousin to have a go. Merry sighed and pressed the button. The song list went around and gave him "Yeh Yeh" also by They Might Be Giants. The music played and again right before you sing it flashed '3 2 1 Sing!' thanks to Pip and his eagerness. With a deep breath, he sang: "yo yo yo c'mon c'mon now every evening when all my day's work is through I call my baby and ask her what we could do I mention movies she don't seem to dig that and then he asks me why don't I come to her flat and have some supper and let the evening pass by by playing records the sounds of groovy hi-fi I say yeh yeh that's what I say I say yeh yeh" As soon as the first line was sung, Merry started busting out his moves and looked right at Cate the whole time. Applauds, cheers, and whistles came form the crowed once again, except Cate was still. Her eyes were locked on Merry's as a blush crept over her face as he sang. A wicked grin formed on the other tween's face as he saw her reaction. 'Call me a fairy will ya. Ha I'll show you' He thought as he started stepping off the stage and dancing towards his table. A lot of glances went back to the monitor as he got farther away. At a break in the song, Merry threw off his shirt right at Cate who caught it thereby causing her to snap out of her daze like state. "Whoohoo!! Yeah. Go Merry! Take it off!!!" She cheered bringing another smile to the singing hobbit's face. Once the song was over Merry gave a bow and blew kisses to all the ladies in the room, before returning the mic to it's place. It was safe to say that once he was done he received the most applauds, whistles, and cheers form the crowd. Once back at the table he put his shirt back on and looked at Cate. "Well, tis your turn I believe." "On no! Nononononononono. I don't do Karaoke." "You have to. We all did it and we didn't know what the blazes we were doing." Piped Pippin. As Cate protest further, Merry whispered to Sam who whispered to Frodo who whispered to Pippin. They all gave a nod then got out of their seats and grabbed Cate's arms. They pulled her up out of her seat and carried her to the stage and while Sam, Frodo, and Merry plunked her down, Pippin pressed the button and off went the machine. The four ran back to their seats leaving Cate alone to sing. Just then the other people started to applaud to encourage her. The machine stopped at the song "Even Angel's Fall" by Jessica Riddle. "Oh perfect." She mumbled as the music started playing. The machine flashed '3 2 1 Sing!' again, but Cate didn't need it. This was her favorite song. She smiled and started singing: "You found hope, you found faith  
  
Found how fast she could take it away  
  
Found true love lost your heart  
  
Now you don't know who you are  
  
  
  
She made it easy made it free  
  
Made you hurt till you couldn't see  
  
Sometimes it stops some times it flows  
  
Baby that is how love goes  
  
  
  
You will fly and you will crawl  
  
God knows even angels fall  
  
No such thing as you lost it all  
  
God knows even angels fall" As her sweet, beautiful voice rang out all the people grew silent. They couldn't believe that she could sing. I mean really sing. She could have been a pop start for all they knew. The four also fell silent with wide eyes and open mouths. Quickly they recovered as Cate started dancing as she sang. She was a little worried that she was doing bad form all the silence in the room, but that soon changed when she held her last note and the music played the last note. People gave her a standing ovation and the hobbits were up upon their chairs clapping, shouting, cheering, and whistling. Cate gave a small bow then rushed back to her seat as everything went back to normal and another person stepped up to the machine. "Merry your a dead man err hobbit!" She hissed as Merry just grinned. "Fair is fair." Merry replied. "That was fun! Let's do it again!" Pippin said excitedly to lighten the mood. Cate laughed at Pippin's cuteness then turned to her boys. "Let's wait awhile and let other people have a turn before we go again alright??" They all nodded. "Now who's ready for more drinks??" The End. 


End file.
